SlayingDragons

I've enjoyed the past couple months of summer with my girls.  

Pool, dance, summer adventures, and slumber parties! 

One of the biggest commitments I made going into this year was to keep my family top priority in this journey to getting my health back.

I didn't want to become a slave to this journey.  My goal from the beginning has been to balance my healthy lifestyle with being a mom, wife, and caregiver.  I had learned that lesson in the past, and I didn't intend on repeating it.  

.Let me explain.

The moment an hour at the gym no longer "feels" like enough and the idea of two hours seems to take priority over being  home with my family, my intentions are no longer innocent.  My mindset has then shifted and what is meant to be "good" for me in reasonable doses has now become an obsession.  That is something I struggled with in the past, and ultimately faced much regret for it in the long-run.  I feel like the Lord has helped me to discern my limits, in regards to fitness.  Moderation is of course my intention, and it is important to me to keep that in .perspective.

*****

I can't help but to reflect and think of all the progress and changes that have happened in such a short time.   I am still so completely grateful for an opportunity to really focus on my overall health.

I like to think of it as a second chance...(well maybe second or third), an opportunity for a clear slate, a do-over.  I also can't help but mention how much this very well mirrors my own walk with Christ, what a testament of God's unfailing love, mercy, and GRACE. 

...To be honest...

By the time January 2017 had rolled around I didn't recognize myself, I didn't feel like myself.

It was like I was wearing a costume; a heavy....depressed, lost, insecure costume that was making it hard to breathe and hard to smile and hard to see me, for me.

I'm not sure what exactly got me there.

I do know the enemy sure liked keeping me there, in a given-up-worn-out-state.

It took me looking past what I thought I saw to remembering who I know I am...my true identity, to pick myself up, heavy baggage and all, and move.  One foot in front of the other.  

The enemy wanted me to wallow in defeat.  To accept defeat.

However, I was done with that lie, over it.

I know we all get bogged down, in a heavy state, with the ins and outs of life.

We all have our vice, our way of coping and pushing forward.

Not always are those strategies in need of repair, but I can bet we all need to be reminded here and there who we are.

I will boldly admit, I'm not doing this on my own.

I have been carried by Him, the one who has strengthened me.

Fully alive and on the path to healing and wholeness.

Of course my story isn't close to being done.

I'm still unfinished...

Suited in the full armor of God..

#slayingdragons

This is my story.

Sometimes we feel like we must be the only one who could possibly be this broken, feel this or ...think that....

.Wrong.

I will continue to be open, sharing and hopefully encouraging you to fight for your identity and passion.  Whatever it might be.

Stand up.  Move.  Fight.

.slaydragons.

.I'm still here.

I know It's been too long since my last update.

!Apologies!

It is sometimes tricky to find the time to sit and gather my thoughts 

and search my heart, and then condense that into WORDS.

I actually can NOT believe we are already near the end of June.

This summer is zooming by!

I have made some fabulous progress this past month, however!

I have hit some incredible milestones I'm excited to share with you!

A terrific one being I have finally said goodbye to the 200's

and HELLO to the 100's!

I'm officially under 200 lbs!

Another wonderful tidbit, I can actually get my wedding band on!

It is still a bit snug, so maybe by the end of July I will be able to 

wear it again comfortably and proudly!

Also, I am so excited about where I am in this journey on an emotional and spiritual level.

We were able to share and learn more about body image 

at our last HealthyU  group meeting.

I can tell you from my own personal experience, 

this struggle with weight goes beyond just working out and eating right.  

I am really making it a point to work on myself from the inside out.

The physical changes that come with the shift in my mindset are an absolute bonus!

I received an unexpected bit of encouragement from a dear friend, whom knows me so well!

Unfortunately, time and life have gotten in the way and we are not able to catch up like we once did.

It meant SO much to me.

She shared the song "Unfinished" by Mandisa.

I wanted to share the lyrics because they honestly tell my story...

and I can imagine, yours too

Crazy schedule.  Crazy mom.  Crazy busy.  Crazy love.  Crazy kids.

Crazy emotional. Crazy mess.  Crazy house.  Crazy fun.

Crazy Life.

I think we all suffer from our own kind of 'crazy' in this life.
This entire month has been CRAZY.
I'm finding as I go through this year, however, there isn't a whole lot of calm, still, or quiet to my life.
And yet, even in the midst of the crazy I have had to commit to keeping the consistency.
No matter how crazy it gets, I've kept my heart in it.
DESPITE
....the missed meal prep....
....the kids' poison ivy and stomach flu that kept us from the gym....
.....  dance rehearsals and time spent on hair and make-up....
....a 2lb weight gain...
.... forgetting to pack my snacks.....
..... leaving my breakfast eggs on the counter, forgetting to eat in the rush....
.... the too late nights, and the early morning wake-ups....
...the DQ blizzards with the fam...
I kept as close to my eating plan as possible.
I found opportunities to move my body even if I wasn't at the gym.
I read a devotional that reminded me of the truths and gave me a healthier perspective
of food and of fullness in Christ.

I tell ya, it is never easy.
This past week I had two different people compliment on how great I'm looking.
I'm hanging on tight to perspective lately.
Yes, I gained 2 lbs.  That was hard.  Not going to lie.
I couldn't give up.  I couldn't let myself wallow in defeat.
I had to reflect on what had been different.
What could I do differently?  Did anything need to change?
I finally settled on, yes.  I could change some things.  Add a little bit of this and a little less of that.
However, I also decided what was 2lbs in comparison to what I have lost?
I got some advice.  Don't stop.
Well, I'm not in the business of stopping.
I might be a bit "stuck" in the since of dropping lbs this month compared to my loss in the previous months, but I'm still making gains in all the right ways!
( I lost 6 by the next weigh-in!  Redemption!)

So when crazy comes knocking.
OR, you wake up one day and realize there is never going to be a day
(Monday, someday, next month...)
better than right NOW to make a change.
Jump on the crazy train and ride it all the way to success!
YES.  I love cliches'.  :)

Be crazy.
Love yourself enough to be the change.
Make crazy progress.
Eat crazy good.
Set goals and crush them like crazy.



Here's to the start of summer break!
Shout out to all you mommies out there.  I'll be the CRAZY mom toting my 3 beauties to the gym, pool, and whatever else we decide to add to out crazy busy lives!
Bring on June...I'm ready to say good-bye to the 200's and HELLO to the 100's bracket!


Here's some shots from our Summer Lovin' photo shoot!

This past week I've been reflecting on PROGRESS.  

Many times it seems the only way to gauge our PROGRESS is to have something concrete and measurable to compare the "now" versus the "then."  Technically, this may be the only true way to measure progress and success if you are being pragmatic.  

Wouldn't you know, in many ways I'm probably the opposite of pragmatic?  :)  

I've never considered myself a numbers person.  Tracking data, details, and specifics can be overwhelming and cause a stir of anxiety.  However, ask me how I  feel or what I think and I'm more eager to respond without too much hesitation.  

This past week was our 3 month Healthy U evaluations.  All I can say is I'm SO thankful for the time spent organizing, gathering, recording, comparing, and measuring of MY NUMBERS.  It was so rewarding to be able to have something concrete to compare and measure.  I know in the past I wouldn't have taken the time to organize, gather, record, compare, and measure my progress.  

I think sometimes it is too easy to forget where we started.  

Many times we begin to transform and it happens faster than we realize or take time to notice.  

I shared this quote on my Facebook this past week and this bit of my heart.....

I've meant to take the time to sit at my desk and write for a week.  Ok, two.

It isn't that I have been uninspired or that I've lacked for words.

Rather, I haven't been sure how I wanted to put to words my latest victory.

Sure, if you follow me on social media you already know about the weight loss.

This has been in part, a piece of my latest victory.

I don't always talk about the work I've been doing over the past 3 months.

I have a hard time both accepting compliments and talking about myself.

I've never felt comfortable with either.

However, I know that most people don't perceive it as bragging, I just never want to be misunderstood as seeming to have "all the answers."

I certainly do not.

I am learning everyday.

Annnd, we are all going to experience the SAME thing in a different way.

So here is my regime that has help me shed those 50lbs!.

I've really made it a habit to visit the gym at least 4-5 days per week.

I like to do the group classes.  I am quiet. And not the most outgoing.

However, I love the energy that is generated in a group class.

So, I just follow the group fitness schedule offered at my gym, Total Fitness.

It works for me to go in the morning after I drop my two oldest girls at school.

The little one has learned to love the social hour (most days) that she gets while mommy moves.

Monday -Pump

Tuesday- Piyo

Wed- Yoga

Thurs- Piyo

Friday- Pump

I also include at least 3 days of 20-30 minute run time before or after a class.

I like the routine I have established for now.  I'm getting two days of weight training.  A day of great restoration in yoga. And two days of Piyo which offers a low-impact cardio burn with stretching and flexibility.  So far my body is responding wonderfully to this series of workouts.

Occasionally (who am I kidding) my schedule changes due to activities or events with the kids.

Most of the time I just make up for it on a Saturday morning or I have on occasion went in to the gym and joined in on an evening group class.

I'm striving for consistency but I have really allowed myself the mental flexibility that is necessary when you're trying to manage fitness and family :)

I also continue to eat as clean as possible.  Again. My ultimate goal is NOT to eat the same 5 foods for an entire year.  That is just me.  Instead, I eat a variety of real, whole foods.  I occasionally "splurge" and add in something that doesn't follow my whole eating plan on the weekends and I enjoy a meal or treat.

That is realistic.  That works for me.

I want to say that I understand that creating a healthy lifestyle is a process.  I don't have it all figured out.  There are some days that aren't as easy as others.  

However, I see something different in myself this time.  

Yes, I said "this time" because it isn't the first or only time in my life that I have made a healthy change.  There is, or can be a perception of bondage that is created in ones life when tying to eat healthy and exercise.  I know, because I have lived it.  In the past I failed because I was too hard on myself, I didn't practice grace.  Instead I was often rigid, set impractical expectations, and would strive for perfection.  I would end up defeated, believing I was a failure.

......My life today.....

I have so much to be grateful for. Remember, my journey is holistic; mind, body, and spirit. I have the opportunity to be free from the bondage of failure I created based on lies.  This time I have the support of 11 other adults who have declared their health to be number one priority in their life.  I have the support of my family and church.  Most importantly, I have witnessed the power of Truth.  Truth has the power to overcome every lie.  

God's love is unconditional.

#itsoktolivelikeyou'vebeensetfree

"His love has made you more than enough

so go ahead and be who he made you to be

and live like you're loved"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_r47Xhkf20

The last couple weeks have been so

.FULL.

KIDS. ANNIVERSARY. REVIVAL. GYM.

LIFE

My husband and I celebrated 11 years of marriage on the 18th.

We enjoyed a quiet dinner just the two of us as well as a fun afternoon

 spent with the girls and our family.

I couldn't help but reflect on my food choices at the restaurant.

In years past, I would have been distracted from the lovely meal because I would have been focused on all the mistakes I was making.

My personal dialogue would have sounded something like this...

{"don't eat the bread."  "absolutely NO dessert."  "why is HE eating that in front of ME."}

However, this time as I skimmed the menu and anticipated the meal 

I didn't hear that old dialogue playing in me head.

(or if I did I wasn't listening)

Instead I ordered what sounded appealing.

When my food arrived I ate until I started to feel FULL.

I DID order a dessert.  It WAS amazing.

I didn't feel guilty.  I didn't feel like a failure.

I savored EVERY bite and it was DELICIOUS.

So what was different?

Before my anniversary day I had a conversation with myself

(yes, I do that.  It is a THING, for me)

I knew I wasn't going to deprive myself.  I knew that it was a special occasion.

I checked out the menu before I went so I had an idea of what was offered.

I wasn't concentrating on calories, or carbs, or macros.

I was going to eat until I was FULL.

Not combustion FULL.  But rather my new FULL.

It was one meal.  One day. 

I survived!

As I've shared before, and some of you already know, this isn't the first time I've tried to win the battle against obesity.  However, I feel like this time is different on SO many levels.

I am really trying to rewire the way I think about food, feel about myself, and treat my body.

I'm able to apply what I'm learning this year through the Healthy U resources as well as build upon knowledge and lessons learned from the past.

It isn't always easy.  It is never pretty.  Some days are hard.  Most days are different.

However, I'm learning what it means to be FULfilled.

I'm learning how to have a fulfilling relationship with God and in doing so...

 give up depending solely on myself to conquer and slay these dragons.,,GIANTS

These are some lyrics to a song I've been jamming to this past week...

Francesca Battistelli - Giants Fall

Don't you be afraid
Of giants in your way
With God you know that anything's possible
So step into the fight
He's right there by your side
The stones inside your hand might be small
But watch the giants fall
Watch the giants fall

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqjdkvuFT30