The last couple weeks have been so

.FULL.

KIDS. ANNIVERSARY. REVIVAL. GYM.

LIFE

My husband and I celebrated 11 years of marriage on the 18th.

We enjoyed a quiet dinner just the two of us as well as a fun afternoon

 spent with the girls and our family.

I couldn't help but reflect on my food choices at the restaurant.

In years past, I would have been distracted from the lovely meal because I would have been focused on all the mistakes I was making.

My personal dialogue would have sounded something like this...

{"don't eat the bread."  "absolutely NO dessert."  "why is HE eating that in front of ME."}

However, this time as I skimmed the menu and anticipated the meal 

I didn't hear that old dialogue playing in me head.

(or if I did I wasn't listening)

Instead I ordered what sounded appealing.

When my food arrived I ate until I started to feel FULL.

I DID order a dessert.  It WAS amazing.

I didn't feel guilty.  I didn't feel like a failure.

I savored EVERY bite and it was DELICIOUS.

So what was different?

Before my anniversary day I had a conversation with myself

(yes, I do that.  It is a THING, for me)

I knew I wasn't going to deprive myself.  I knew that it was a special occasion.

I checked out the menu before I went so I had an idea of what was offered.

I wasn't concentrating on calories, or carbs, or macros.

I was going to eat until I was FULL.

Not combustion FULL.  But rather my new FULL.

It was one meal.  One day. 

I survived!

As I've shared before, and some of you already know, this isn't the first time I've tried to win the battle against obesity.  However, I feel like this time is different on SO many levels.

I am really trying to rewire the way I think about food, feel about myself, and treat my body.

I'm able to apply what I'm learning this year through the Healthy U resources as well as build upon knowledge and lessons learned from the past.

It isn't always easy.  It is never pretty.  Some days are hard.  Most days are different.

However, I'm learning what it means to be FULfilled.

I'm learning how to have a fulfilling relationship with God and in doing so...

 give up depending solely on myself to conquer and slay these dragons.,,GIANTS

These are some lyrics to a song I've been jamming to this past week...

Francesca Battistelli - Giants Fall

Don't you be afraid
Of giants in your way
With God you know that anything's possible
So step into the fight
He's right there by your side
The stones inside your hand might be small
But watch the giants fall
Watch the giants fall

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqjdkvuFT30